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Discipline For Babiesby Armin Brott, 10/22/04Your question: My six-month old is getting into everything. I keep saying "No!" but he won't listen. What's the best way to discipline him? Armin Brott answers: Before we go any further, let's clarify one thing: Discipline does not mean "punishment," it means "teaching" and "setting limits," and the goal is to help your child develop impulse control. At six months, though, that's pretty much impossible, for several reasons. First, your baby can't make a distinction between a want and a need -- they're exactly the same to him. Second, he's simply not capable of understanding that he's doing something wrong (or even what "right" and "wrong" mean). If he pokes you in the eye, head butts you when you're leaning in to give him a kiss, or knocks over the fish bowl, he's not doing it to cause trouble. Finally, babies this age have very short memories. So by the time you've disciplined him, he's already forgotten what he did to get you so upset. But now that your baby is getting more mobile, there's an increased chance that his misbehavior could become dangerous. So it's time to start setting some limits. Nothing rigid -- just some basic guidelines to get your baby used to the idea. At this point, you have only two serious discipline and limit-setting options: minimize danger by baby proofing the house and distract him; take advantage of his short memory while you still can. So if he's gotten hold of that priceless Van Gogh you accidentally left on the floor, give him a teddy bear; and if he's making a break for the nearest busy street, pick him up and turn him around the other way. Chances are, he won't even notice. And even if he does, he'll be disappointed for only a few seconds. About Armin: A nationally recognized parenting expert, Armin Brott is the author of The New Father: A Dadís Guide to the First Year, Father for Life, The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be; A Dadís Guide to the Toddler Years, Throwaway Dads, and The Single Father: A Dadís Guide to Parenting without a Partner. He has written on parenting and fatherhood for the New York Times Magazine, The Washington Post, Newsweek and dozens of other periodicals. Armin serves on the board of advisors of the Men's Health Network in Washington, DC. He also hosts ěPositive Parentingî, a nationally distributed, weekly talk show, and lives with his family in Oakland, California. Visit Armin at http://www.mrdad.com. |
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